velma

Swoon.

cupcake bites covered in chocolate from Yummy Cupcakes in Burbank, CA
( one more )

manila's finest

Dudes, these Santa Cards I made are available at Topatoco! He is in the festive spirit wink wink.

working to:



comic:


click stuff for better view

I hate the way people don't believe that I really am in *that* much pain. I have to delve into examples of pain medication overdose to prove the point.

I have taken 4 naproxen combined with 2 ibuprofen before, and not have it touch my pain at all. It leaves me beyond irritable and annoyed, making it much easier for me to lose my temper for random stupid crap.

I feel in agony right now, and unfortunately I left the remains of my hydro from my kidney stone at home. Oh gods... shoot me.

My neck, back, shoulders, even my chest and lower torso are hurting so bad right now. Combined with the ever present aching in my knees and feet, I feel miserable. I just want to sit and do nothing.

I took 4 naproxen. I would take more, but I don't want to add nausea to the list of reasons I feel like crap right now. And I kind of like having a functioning liver.

This coupled with depression and anxiety can make for some horrible late nights. The graveyard leaves me awake in the dead of night alone with nothing but the thoughts in my head. If I told you that a year ago, I was in a terrible mental place that I could only describe as being imprisoned in an emotional and psychological hell, it wouldn't even begin to describe it.

Now winter is fast approaching, and it is taking a conscious effort not to succumb to SAD. I keep slipping, and then have to claw my way back up. Fighting my own unbalanced brain and dealing with my body's revolt and insistance of making me feel pain for reasons no one seems to know, it's such a damn heavy burden sometimes.

I've managed to make myself functional and self-sufficient, but some days it is so damn hard. And if I dare mention my pain, either physical or psychological, no one understands.

I restarted my psych pills, since I now have insurance and can go get them renewed. I need to do that soon, and maybe even up the dosage. I have a friend who can recommend a doctor that will renew my hydro for me too. I just need a few a week is all, so I can have some pain free moments now and then. (A positive side effect being mood elevation as well, but we'll not mention that to the doctor.)

What's more frustrating is that my mother, who has chronic pain of her own and has suffered depression and anxiety, has no sympathy for me. I just need to deal with it and move past it she says. I tell her that I'm just not strong like she is.

It seems to be getting better tho.. Being medicated again and shifted my brain chemicals and finally I feel human again, but it's ongoing. I might need the pills forever, but as long as it keeps me human and functional, I don't care.

Sorry for all the randomness. Needed to vent :/

from a tiny vietnamese restaurant around the corner from my apartment!

We call it "sopas" in the Philippines, and we always have this one during rainy days. I don't know what's with the rain but the soup really taste good when the weather is cold, and all you want to do the whole day is stay home and just bum around.

It's a little chilly already here in China so I started off my day with a hot macaroni soup ("mainit na sopas")! I miss home, already... this soup makes me cherish the not-so-old cold rainy days back home.

Just to be clear, if you're on my Flist in the first place, this probably means I respect you.

(Pardon weak phone photography)

The first contender: John Campbell's Irish Bakery. ($6.00) Simple corned beef and cabbage with pickling spices on a Belfast bap. (I added brown sauce.) Heated up by the nice folks at the counter, it was glorious. Everything I've had there so far is glorious. And there's a whole lot of everything in that little shop. If you're in or visiting the Bay Area, you must go.

For my darling husband's birthday I made us a romantic feast. On the table is homemade lasagna with homemade noodles and my Sunday gravy from scratch. I also baked a loaf of whole wheat bread along with a lemon chiffon birthday cake with buttercream frosting.

The photography isn't stellar, and my decorating isn't great but this was an amazing dinner.

The whole feast.


( Read more... )